Kwentong Balugs

Sitwasyon 1: Papasok sa trabaho, alas-7 ng umaga, 9 degrees celcius. Pupungas-pungas pa. Sumakay ng bus. Pagkaraan ng 3 minuto huminto ang bus at lumapit ang driver sa akin. Pinapababa ako dahil kulang ang pamasahe ko. Hanggang dito na lang daw ako! Walang kagatol-gatol sinundan ko sya at nagbayad ng kulang na pamasahe. Ayoko ng diskusyon at alam ko namang mali ako. Si kuya balugs naman, hindi pa ako pinagbigyan.

Sitwasyon 2: Nasa trabaho, pang-apat na beses ko pa lang sa trabaho. Kaya ang konsentrasyon ko ibang level. Ang kasamahan kong balugs sa trabaho parang slumbook. Kung makapagtanong tungkol sa buhay, wagas na wagas. At si ako, sagot pa din sa Q&A portion ni kuya. Ang ending, "I'll see you after work" ANO DAW??! Ayun napa-out ako ng trabaho ng wala sa oras..

Au Pair Documentary Film

Documentary films tackle political,society and moral issues and they have substantial responsibility in delivering these issues. Moreover, they can implicitly influence their audience on their personal views. The Au Pair documentary film is about the struggling life of three Filipina Au pairs in Denmark. However, the real message was not convey clearly. And how they send the message is not fair for the Filipina Au pair as well their Filipino families. Researchers didnt do their assignment well. Thus, giving justice on every scenes and issues are highly unattainable. On this matter, new impressions were aroused as a Filipina -- desperate, ignorant and opportunist. And this film will be shown on selective cinemas in Denmark follow by a debate. Will this help on solving issues as an au pair? Will this uplift the morale of every Filipino immigrant in Denmark?

SAAN KA PAPUNTA?

Mahilig akong maglakad. Isa na siguro yun sa mga hobby ko. Bukod sa tipid na, may makikita kang mga bagay na hindi karaniwang nakikita kung nasa bus or train ka. Pero dapat sa isang direksyon lang at dapat paulit-ulit. Pagdating kasi sa direksyon, talo ako dyan. Pwede akong maligaw sa kabilang kanto lang ng tinitirhan ko. Huwag judgmental! Hindi ako bobo. Slow lang tlga ako sa direksyon!

Sa mahigit na dalawang taong kong paninirahan dito sa bandang norte ng mundo. Ni minsan hindi ako nakapaglakad ng malayo. Oo takot ako. Buti sana kung may police station dito o maliit na tindahan o mga tambay na pwedeng pagtanungan kng sakaling dose oras ka ng naglalakad sa neighboorhood mo.

Pero isang araw, nakakuha ako ng lakas ng loob na maglakad-lakad mula doon hangang dito. Malayo din yun ah. Dahil ba may police station akong madadaan? Hindi. May tambay sa may kanto? Hindi din. May sari-sari store si Aling Nena sa bus stop? Sana nga. Pero wala e. Dahil may kasama ako! At kung maligaw ako. Dalawa kami. Hindi lang ako ang magmumukhang tanga.

Sa paglalakad naming yun, hindi ko maiwasang maikompara ang paglalakad ko at ang buhay ko dito. Gumagana nanaman ang malikot kong pagiisip at hindi ko tinitignan kong naliligaw na kami basta alam ko makakauwi din ako.

Naglalakad na kami ng mahigit trenta minuto at dumating na kami sa intersection. Dito magiisip ka kung sang direksyon ka pupunta. Kaliwa. Kanan. Diretso o pabalik. Pero huwag kang magtatagal magisip kung anong direksyon o tutuloy ka pa ba. Naka-green na ang ilaw, ikaw din baka maghintay ka ulit at mag-red na siya. At kapag niyapak mo na ang paa mo sa direksyong gusto mo, huwag mo nang parusahan ang sarili mo sa mga tanong na “E kung dun kaya ako pumunta?” Utang na loob. Bawal nang tumawid, nakamamatay!

Sa direksyon mong pinili, irespeto mo yun. Irespeto mo ang lupang tinatapakan mo at irerespeto ka din nya. Madaming bagay na aakit sa yo at mapapatagal ng lakad mo. Ang tanong, Iyan ba ay makakatulong sa paglalakad mo? Kung iyan ay magiging pabigat lang. Hayaan mo na. Baka sa kabilang kanto may ganyan ulit.

Ang paglalakad hindi basta-basta yan, kailangan may sapat kang kagamitan sa mahaba at nakakapagod na lakarin. Una na dyan ang sapatos, kahit na Nike o Adidas o kahit mag heels ka pa. Kung kaya mong dalhin, ok lang. Ang importante buhay pa ang mga binti mo paguwi mo. At kung iniisip mong pumorma habang nglalakad dahil sa mdaming makakakita na Aldo ang sapatos mo. Sige lang maiisip mo din yang kalokohan mo.

Hindi masamang magpahinga ng saglit. Umupo saglit. O tignan ang paligid. Minsan nga babalik ka dahil gusto mo pang pagmasdan ang bagay na nakita mo. O minsan hindi inaasahan kailangan mo talagang tumigil dahil sa mga bagay na nakapaligid sa yo. Pasensya. Makakauwi ka din. Darating tayo dyan. Pero huwag mong hayaang tumigil ka ng matagal. Hindi lang ikaw ang naglalakad, may ibang tao din. Baka makasagabal ka sa kanila o di kaya maging biktima ng mga taong sumasabay lang din sa paglalakad. Mag-ingat ka!

Ayan na! Wala ka pa sa kalahati ng lakaran, madilim na ang ulap. Huwag kang magreklamo kasama sa buhay yan. Tinatawag yang bugso ng kalikasan. Maging handa ka sa pabago-bagong panahon kapag tag-lagas, madulas na daan kapag tag-yelo, sa mapang-akit na bulaklak kapag tag-sibol at sa mainit at nakakasunog na tag-init.

Hayaan mong ang paglalakad na ito ay maging salamin ng yong buhay. Makinig sa dinidikta ng konsensya mo at hayaan mong ang mga ibong nasa paligid mo ay maging taga pagbalita sa paglalakad mo.

Sa bawat paglalakad, may katapusan yan. Hindi habang buhay mong lalakaran yan. Uuwi ka din. Magpapahinga. Tapos bukas ibang direksyon nanaman. Dapat maging handa ka na iwan ang paglalakad na iyon. Kahit na ayaw mong umuwi dahil sa magandang karanasan mo o pinipilit humanap ng short-cut. Tignan ang bawat sulok baka may makita kang katulad nun sa paglalakad mo ulit. Basahin ang mga babalang nakasulat. Batiin at ngumiti sa mga taong nakakasalubong, malay mo sa susunod na lakarin siya na ang kasabay mo. At higit sa lahat, mahalin ang bawat hakbang na ginawa mo. Hindi mo na kayang balikan isa isa ulit iyon.

Maging handa ka sa pabago-bagong panahon kapag tag-lagas, madulas na daan kapag tag-yelo, sa mapang-akit na bulaklak kapag tag-sibol at sa mainit at nakakasunog na tag-init.

August 10, 2011, 12:35pm

Random Thoughts

I am in my deep silence of serenity, where busyness is beyond miles away and tiredness is left behind in the other realm but this silence and serenity is not complete without any purpose. What it could be?

I have been begging for this day to come. And trying to push myself to the edge to have this one but now, what now?

Trying to keep myself sane and thinking that this things is just a normal path where everybody will pass whether they like it or not but this journey seems to me forever. I am taking it too long. I need to move on and take another route but where should I go?

With few days that I am taking every minute, I just found out that I am not physical tired and busy. It was all in my mind. I was trying to figure out and doing things ALL BY MYSELF, AGAIN! What do you expect? It’s typical me. But then, I gave up and feel so deadly tired even not.

Until now, I am battling with my senses what on earth am I doing here and why am I doing this things to myself. Until now, those are my million dollar question to myself. In short, I am nearly give up but every time I am trying His hands is always there to catch my last breath.

Well, this is my choice and this is His will. I am living by faith and mercy everyday. All this things are learning process. Process that can’t be repeated and learning that can’t be forgotten. I just need to get myself on track.

SERENITY AND SILENCE WITH PURPOSE.

“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.” - James 1:12

YEAR OF THE “OVER CIRCUMSTANCES”

Every year, I ask for His word to hold and fight for it. Last year, it was a tremendous year. I saw His hands working in behalf of me. I felt His comfort in time of weakness and sadness and I witnessed the favor and blessing that I can’t imagine. And this year, God gave me this verse: Isaiah 43: 18-19

¹⁸ “But forget all that—
it is nothing compared to what I am going to do.
¹⁹ For I am about to do something new.
See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?
I will make a pathway through the wilderness.
I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.

A new wonderful life is about to begin this year. And this is my declaration this year, A Year of the “OVER CIRCUMSTANCES”. This verse teaches me to forget all of those wonderful things and leave it all behind because of the new things that he is going to do. Not to compare the past to my present and future. And this year, I’ll experience something new. A blessing that I have never receive before, He said He begun it already and I know that is my stay here Denmark and my new status as a student. I’ll experience the look-like-impossible but possible to Him, pathway through wilderness and rivers in dry wasteland. And this is all above circumstances, beyond average and higher than usual.

I know He has plan but I also know that He will give the desire of my heart. And this is my prayer and goal for 2011:

1. Soar Higher from strength to strength

Isaiah 40:31

³¹ But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.

This is the declaration of JIL worldwide and I’d like to join them with heart and spirit. Soaring higher spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically but will never get tired or weary.

2. Debt-free

This January I want to pay all my debts especially to Beng. I’d like to begin my school year without any distress.

3. Miscellaneous for School and Apartment

I’ll begin my school this January and I am so excited but studying Multimedia is no joke, you have to have materials and equipments to survive like laptop for multimedia and softwares. The school has an offer to have these materials and I need to have it. Also, I am moving-in into another house and I need things like closet, tables, dyne and pillows.

4. Permanent work

Of course, I need to support my self and my family back home. Until now, I don’t know how to have one and how to have it on my schedule. God help me.

5. Scholarship

This will suffice everything. I can get Driving License, get my brothers from Philippines and take a vacation.

6. Get my brothers

I want to help them to get here.

7. Vacation to the Philippines

I miss them badly. I want to see them badly. Sometimes I don’t want to think about them and just work but I really want to be with them just for a few weeks.