THIS IT!

Matagal ko na ding hindi nasasabi to: "THIS IT!"

I came to Denmark last May 2009, after almost 2 years and 10months, ang daming nangyari at ang daming nagbago (for good) sa akin. Now, I'm nearly ending my visa sa April 14, 2012 to be exact. Although, my course will end next year January 2013 but they only gave my until April. I tried to file an extension, they don't have any decision yet and I am staying positive but I want to make sure that everything will be fine if I need to leave (typical me!). Grace exit.

First and foremost, I need to get a job! Anywhere. Philippines, Singapore or Qatar. I can't imagine myself just sit and wait for the guava fruit to fall. Suicide un para sa akin. I hate to quit again in school. Hindi ko na naman siya natapos. Ayokong sanayin ang sarili ko na magaling lang sa simula hindi kayang tapusin. Pero i don't have any choice.

I'm trying to minimize my planned schedule until April. Ayokong mabitin ang mga plans because of me. I will train people and hand over all my "work" to people. I am still doing my daily work/routine. Nothing change, it's just I am planning it carefully.

Looking for cheap ticket, if needed. I want to go home first before I'll start another chapter of this Miss.Adventure. Keeping my faith burning that everything will be fine. Letting my inner "business-minded" spirit burning.

I am afraid because I am not afraid of my situation. I am worried that I am relax and calm. This is not me. I don't know how to explain it but I am easily letting go all things. Holding on to nothing and letting go of everything.

Nothing's permanent and nothing's definite. Still, it is His final decision.

hindi ba nila alam kung gano kasakit kapag sinsabi nilang wala silang pera at kailangan nila pero hindi ko maibigay. Hindi ko din kaya. Hanggang ngayon hindi ko alam kung san ako kukuha ng pamgbayad ng tuition fee at iba pang bayarin ko. Minsan ayoko na muna silang kausapin. Minsan ayoko munang mgonline kasi everytime I log in, I feel hurt and lost! Kagaya ngayon, miss ko na silang kausapin pero ang ending, kailangan ng ganito..ng ganyan..MASAKIT!

Next to normal

Ready akong magovertime sa school at gumawa ng project. Meron din akong tutor work after so I’ll get busy today. Yes, today! 14^th of February. Ang buong sangkatauhan ay nagdiriwang ng walang kamatayang Valentine’s Day. Pero, bigla na lang silang nagcancel ng group work kasi may date daw sila (take note: all of them!). Ok fine. At ang professor namin, nagdismiss ng maaga to give way to this occasion. Okay (sarcastic) Nagcancel din ang tutor ko (sobra na..) No choice but to go home and stay. I can’t go out din because of the weather. It’s snowing! Well, actually. I don’t have bitterness or inggit factor. I was laughing when I heard all of these. I feel so different. I feel I belong to the other dimension. Ramdam ko, ramdam na ramdam ko..haha..Valentine’s..no flowers (sorry, may allergy ako) no chocolates (ang dami ko sa bahay). Well probably I am next to normal! :)

I watched the “Life In A day”, a docu by real people and real emotions shot in one day over 190+ countries. Brilliantly done!

Also I watched video “Real men surprises their date” and it was so funny and romantic. Like Jing said it’s not the song, it’s not their voices but the courage to express their LOVE! (True!)

What really made my day was listening to the online radio. Pwedeng bumati at pwedeng magrequest..hahaha..Hindi ko nagawa to sa pinas pero for the sake ng wala kming magawa ni jing at friend naman nya ang DJ, cge join lng. Okryan ng mga requested songs at mga bati. Jologs! But it was really fun!

I never intended to spend this day with someone nor I didn’t expect anything. This day is for the lovers, they say. Fine. I rest my case! It’s simple, I love to be loved and I hate to be hated!

Someone like you by Adele

Winter by Tori Amos

Emotionally sung by me. Dedicated to my family.