Keep on moving!

Sometimes, we come across a situation thinking that it would hurt or shattered our life. But if you know by heart and have faith that you conquered everything and moved on and you keep going on in your life. This situation will only prove that you are on the right track. Another season is coming, it only means that something has to end and something must begin. Transition is not easy. It feel uneasy, uncomfortable and sometimes tears flow unexpectedly. But after that, the fragrance of a rose will bloom and will fill your ambiance with sweetness and gladness.
And we should keep moving.

As the snow melts and become waters. Keep moving.
As the waters become part of the soil and dry. Keep moving.
As the soil cultivate a rose and bloom its beauty. Keep moving.
As the rose withered, lost its magnificence and return to the soil. Keep moving.
As the soil covers the icy snow again and bring coldness. Keep moving.
And as these goes round and round. Keep moving.

Let the snowflakes touches your bare hand.
Let the your eyes see the blooming field.
Let the sun burn your skin.
Let the wind blow your hair.
And keep moving!

>>>28 February 2010
10:04pm

Ang pagbabalik..

Ang tagal ko ng hindi nakapg-blog. Hindi dahil sa walang time at busy ako. Hindi ko lang tlga alam kung pano kun isusulat lahat ng nararamdaman ko. Nawala un spark at excitement para magsulat. Pero heto na..bumalik na ulit. Ang pagbabalik...San ko ba uumpisahan..

May isang araw na ”Im pissed off”..yeah..naiinis ako sobra. Parang nagamit ako. Nagamit ang pgkababae ko..ang pinakamahinang part eng buhay ko. Parang hawak nya ang kryptonite at wala nkong magawa kundi sumunod lng. Pero dahil matigas ang ulo ko. Hindi ako sumunod at pinagsabi ko pa. Hanep din ako noh..yun lng pala kapatapat ng kryptonite..tsismis! Well, ginawa ko lang un para maibsan ung inis ko. Ayokong magtani ng galit o lung ano pa man. Kaya heto..ok nko..khit isang sakong kryptonite pa ang hawak nya.. Sorry..wa-epek na..

May isang araw din na ”nangarap nanaman ako ng gising”. May mga sekreto tau sa buhay na kun pede nga lang ay ibaon na lng sa limot un at matuto na lang. May mali! Oo may mali! At ako un. Sympre matigas nanaman ang ulo ko. Kaya ngyon kahit mahirap at masakit. Tigil na..Ayawan na. Nasaktan nanaman ulit e.

I received a txt message from Mama bigla na lang akong napaiyak. Namiss ko cya. Kahit ganun un. Hindi ko masabing nammiss ko na cla ayokong magalala cla. Sabi ko hindi ako iiyak, hndi ako malulungkot para sa knila..tuloy ang buhay!

Stop, pray and listen...

¹¹ “Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the Lord told him. And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. ¹² And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper. (1 Kings 19:11-12)

In the midst of unfortunate circumstance or frustrated moments, we often to seek His voice and we expect Him to answer also in a loud voice. In our chaotic moment we also want God to response in chaotic moment. But the true voice will hear in His gentle whisper. Stop and listen. Then, you will hear and find the voice that you are longing for.

I love snow but I hate winter!

As of now, while I am writing, it is -2 degrees outside and tomorrow they promised that It will snow. I am supposed to go to church today. It's been 3 weeks since my last Sunday service. Guilty, yes! It is freezing cold outside. Wala ng nararamdaman un tenga at kamay ko sa sobrang lamig.

Namimiss ko ng magtshirt, pantalon at slippers lang paglumalabas. Magjogging, Pumunta ng beach, gumala. Namimiss ko ng pagpawisan, which is seldom to happen pero at least di ba. Oo na, lagi kong pinapangarap ito at lagi kong sinsabi gusto kong maexperience. Since na naexperience ko na, pwes! tama na..hahhahha..kaso tatagal pa ito hangang March ata. Nyay! miss ko na ang haring araw. Miss ko na ang init nya...nyahahha..basta miss na kita!

Tuloy ang laban..

I read my old blog. My blog for 4 years. And dami palang nangyari. Ang dami palang luhang dumaloy ng mga panahong iyon. Nandun un para akong tanga na hindi ko nararamdaman ang nangyayari sa paligid ko. Numb, bitter, sad, lonely minsan masaya..lahat na. Nagmahal, nasaktan..nagmahal ulit..nasaktan ulit. Ganun tlga siguro. Naaawa ako sa sarili ko nun pero ngyon wala na kong mailuha. After kong mabasa un, prang lahat na ata nailuha ko nun. Sabagay sabi nga ni kuya jeff nun, ayaw na ayaw nya akong nakikitang umiiyak, pero ngyon prang wala na..oo nga naman..wala ng pakialam kun ilang balde na inuluha ko nun. Pero nakakatuwa may mga hidden na pagmamaldita din ako. May storya din ng pagbangon at pilit bumabangon. Napagod ako sa buhay ko nun. Nagpapakapagod para makalimutan lahat ng sakit at kirot. Walang tulog at walang pahinga kahit oras ng pahinga klngng mgtrabho. May blog pa ako nun bday ko nun 2008, ang ginawa ko..naglaba..hahahha..baliw tlga ako.

Isinantabi ko na ung blog na un, hindi dahil sa gusto kong kalimutan na ang lahat. Binabalikbalikan ko pa din cya. Nagbibigay ng lakas ng loob ko un. Kinaya ko nun at kakayanin ko pa din ngayon. Masasabi kong hindi pa tapos ang laban ng buhay. Nagsisimula pa lang. Ngyon ko pedeng sabhin na pinatatatag ako ng kahapon.

Kung tatanungin ako kung may regrets ako sa mga nangyari. Wala akong pinagsisihan at un pa rin ang pipiliin kong buhay kung sakali. Kung may babaguhin man ako sana mas minahal ko pamilya ko kaysa sa kanya. Kaya pinupunuan ko lahat ng pagkukulang ko sa pamilya ko. kahit sariling ambisyon at pangarap ko isinanttabi ko muna pra sa knila. Saka na lng ulit ako. Naging matigas ulo ko e. Sinuway ko sila. Ito siguro ang kapalit ng lahat na un. At tanggap ko na. Masasabi ko ngayon mamamatay ako at mabubuhay ako para sa pamilya ko.

Nahaharap ako ngayon sa malaking disappointment at discouragement. Nahihirapan akong maghanap ng options. Hindi ako qualified. Pero ok lang. Malalagpasan ko din ito at pagdating ng araw babasahin ko ulit ito at matutuwa kasi nalampasan ko nanaman ito.

Umayos ka lng, Urania!

WELCOME 2010! YEAR OF POSSESSION!

January 2, 2010


Every year, I always ask God’s word and promise for this year and this will be my guide and I will hold on into it. And to my surprise, He gave a powerful promise:

May God pass on to you and your descendants the blessings he promised to Abraham. May you own this land where you are now living as a foreigner, for God gave this land to Abraham. (Genesis 28:4 NLT)

Yes, conquering the land where I am living now as a foreigner! How to do it and Where will I start?? I really don’t know. I keep my faith that everything is possible to Him and I know He will fulfill this promise in His own time.

This gives me inspiration to go on and dream again. And for this year, these are my goals with prayer, I hope I can fulfill it.

1. To have work permit or student permit in Denmark. This is my ultimate goal right now. I don’t want to be an au pair forever and I really wanted to start my new career by studying or working. I am starting now to find alternative options to stay longer here. I want to stay here for more 2 or 3 years.

2. To visit Paris. I hope this summer I can visit Paris now and if most likely with side-trip again and this time in Germany.

3. Visit 2 more countries. Again, I don’t want to end this year without visiting more countries and probably in Spain, Italy, Norway or Switzerland. Anything goes and anything can happen.

4. To have a birthday bash! This will be my first time to celebrate my birthday away from my family and outside of the country and I pray that God will give a memorable birthday celebration.

5. To finish my Danish Language until Module III. I am now in Module II and I am determined to finish it until Module III.

6. To find new family. Also, this year, my contract will end in November and I pray that I can find family to live-in probably in Norway if I can’t have working or student visa.

7. Christmas vacation in the Philippines. I am excited to have vacation in the Philippines. Even though, it is 2-weeks vacation only, I’ll spend it wisely with my family.

I will possess this land, this is my desire. May God grant the desire of my heart.